


Shelter

by awkward_asexual



Category: Monsta X (Band), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, References to Depression, Temporary Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:50:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_asexual/pseuds/awkward_asexual
Summary: {Based around the story and video of "All In" from Monsta X}Your world has fallen apart. Orphaned as a child with your younger brother, when the only family you know is taken from you, everything goes dark. Brought back to the light with the help of an ex soldier, you eventually cross paths with a group of guys, squeezing your way into their world instead of dwelling in your own.However, you come to realize that each of the guys has their share of secrets, and you're quick to become tired of being the last to know.{Monsta X/Reader}





	1. Color

**Author's Note:**

> This was sorta my first story for this group and the first on this site. It's also posted on Wattpad, but no where else so if you see it other places besides here and Wattpad, please alert me of such. I tried not to make anything too OOC but I'm not sure I did very well since I've never written for this group. I look forward to continuing this story!

_Blood_. It was blood.

It dripped in precious amounts from the tips of your fingers, finding solace within the spider veined cracks decorating the floor. The scene already terrified you, but your unease came from the foreboding fact that the crimson liquid coating the flesh of your palms was not your own. It came in waves, leaking from the rafters above as innocent lives were stolen just beyond your line of sight. Dangerous, that's how you felt, like barbed wire or shattered pieces of glass; like power lines humming with electricity.

You had lived alone for so many merciless years beneath another home, had you been at fault for the murders of the kind elderly couple dwelling overhead? There were things you had done in your life, nothing could wipe such things from your memory, so could it be that you were the original target? And instead, had someone died for you without proper reasoning? The day your brother shook hands with the vanilla scent of death, nothing had been the same. The power had shut off and the water refused to run, people were slaughtered, others abandoned if the could not afford housing, and portions of the city collapsed. It was as if a bomb had gone off, sparing the humans but killing the humanity.

From that day, the military took full control into their own greedy hands.

The government had been tugged from beneath the foundation of everything you had grown to know, leaving only war and chaos and ruin in its wake to divide what had been just, and what had been corrupt. You had stolen, lied, made deals with the devil that you yourself knew you could never uphold, but never had you stooped so low as to rival the same deceitful actions of the military. Along with the collapse, shortages followed. There were still shops and merchant stands littering the central hub of the city, but objects of want no longer existed. Necessity items only, food was bought in small amounts and each individual rarely had more than two full outfits. Extras were never granted.

Everything was costly, more so than it ever had been before, and the hierarchy grew stronger each passing day. The poor were unable to afford food, let alone housing or medical needs, and often died of disease or hunger, whereas the military and their families could live lavishly despite the restricted everyday products. Medicine was one of the rarest things to come by, as it was often withheld even if one could pay.

There were only a few sectors within the city that were still standing, and even fewer that were still safe. Homes had been built in uncommonly close knit circumstances, stretching across the expanse of a sloping hillside, compressed together to offer more shelter against the outside world. It was often a joke to make, how the buildings were almost stacked like solid decks of cards, but the streets and alleys had been minimized to where it was increasingly suffocating to move through the remainder of them. After death claimed your brother, you had haggled your way into one of the lowest dwellings near the bottom of the hill to stay hidden away in case anything you had done tried to come back and retaliate.

Now, it appeared as though your safety had been compromised. Eyes sickly and thoughts disoriented, your entire figure jolted and pivoted sharply to the side as an ominous creak of aged wood sounded from somewhere behind the shadows. Your motions had been far too quick as your sore limbs had not anticipated the rapid decision, and your back met the dirtied floor paired with a strangled gasp of shock. Pain grew roots around your ribs and spine and you could feel the petals of bruised flowers blooming against your shoulder blades; silence reigned supreme for a moment longer. But once more, the groan of the floors under stressful weight throbbed through your skull. You were dazed and stiff in the limbs to the point where it seemed you could not push even your torso up. A dark frame lurked and danced with the black spots at the edges of your vision and as they stepped forward, you struggled to keep them trained within your sight.

It was a girl, older than you, donned in the traditional black uniform of the military. Carrying the typical M16, she was poised, creeping in a circle to your side to which your head turned to follow, and aiming the weapon in such a way that allowed you to stare straight down the barrel into her eyes. The gaze she housed was unlike anything you had seen throughout the city. Residents all had deep brown eyes that reflected the stars at night; hers were pale. Paler than anything you were used to, you contemplated whether the visor on her helmet were the cause of her discolored irises, but as she removed the gear and shook out an unevenly cut and styled mop of dark hair, her eyes remained the same illuminated shade.

 _Blue_. They were blue.

"I didn't expect anyone so young, so  _healthy_ , to be living this far south into the slums." Her voice was octaves lower than you were expecting, and words skipped along your tongue as she moved closer to your body. "Can you speak? If you can't, at least let me help you." Her fingers were already smoothing over the slope of your tensed shoulders, gripping in order to aid in pulling your upper body upright. Questions gurgled in your throat as you found your voice, "Did," out came the word, stuttered and broken, slightly hoarse from having the air choked out of your lungs moments earlier. "Did you kill those people?" She had been wielding a gun only seconds before, how could you trust her if she had indeed ended the lives of such pure individuals. To your surprise, she chuckled; the sound was bitter and disgusted in the lowest of tones.

"Not me, but my partner. He insisted they weren't to be spared and despite my protesting and screaming, he shot them anyway. I took it upon myself to find anyone else in the area and evacuate them before he can start a bloodbath," She was now crouched above your legs, nearly straddling your knees as she held your torso in place with a steady grasp. Remorse lit up her pale eyes as she watched you keenly. "They took their deaths elegantly, so don't worry about them. I'm sure they're happy wherever they ended up."

Still apprehensive, you analyzed her. Was she being truthful about helping you or was she just going to kill you? She caught your narrowed gaze with a simper that only seemed to cause your doubt to escalate. "My name is Ji-yeon. Now, let's get you out of here before they find out about my basic mutiny."

-

 _"I didn't steal anything!"_ Seven months. Ji-yeon had saved your unlucky life from disaster and in the time you spent with her, you found an ally in the most unlikely of people. A soldier. Of course, when her failure to complete what was asked and therefore going against the awful rule of the military, she had been stripped of her ranking and status and nearly beaten to death for her apparent crime. If her previous partner had not stepped in, you were positive they would've killed her without so much as even a care. Presently, she was being convicted of swiping something from a merchant stand, even when the soldiers (ones she had once trusted with everything) had dumped the contents of her bag onto the street and found no evidence, they continued to push. Though your head was bowed, as Ji-yeon had specifically instructed to never make eye contact with  _any_  of the soldiers, the weight of several tired, probing eyes laid heavily along your shoulders.

Oddly enough, the stares weren't those of the military jerks interrogating your friend, rather, the gazes bore into you from behind. You had followed after the men dragging Ji-yeon by her arms toward a sturdy looking bridge, one with faded and dulled yet detailed stone paved along the external features and a firm, squared opening plated with rough cement along the inner walls and ceiling to uphold the weight of anything that passed across the bridge. Faintly, you recalled seeing masculine figures perched precariously atop crates and rusted benches and scrap metal that were arranged fairly neatly beneath the bridge as you approached to face the man who had prosecuted the ex soldier. Doctor Chae, at least you assumed he was a doctor given the medical symbol printed on the stupid binder he carried with him. He was infamous for his inhumane ways of work, and you found yourself dreading what he could possibly have in store for your friend. Soon enough, Ji-yeon had raised her voice to a shout, shuffling was heard from behind you as a few of the people beneath the bridge moved toward the scene, and you panicked when one of the men standing beside Doctor Chae produced a pistol from the holster at his waist.

 _Now or never_. Your palm met Ji-yeon's shoulder and your lips found purchase at the shell of her ear, words dripping from your tongue in stale warnings. "Getting angry will only make it worse, you need to calm down-" You were silenced by a biting grip against your upper arm, forcibly being removed from your friend's side. Not a moment later, pain erupted at your temple and you snapped sharply to the right, landing awkwardly with your chest pressed to the ground, fingers splayed and lungs burning. Several choked inhales from around you signaled the shock of what had happened. One of the men had struck you with the butt of their gun, leaving you boiling with hatred and gasping for air while numbing waves of agony pulsed from the wound. "Do not interfere," The phrase was spat as though it were poison, and it took all you could to focus on not losing consciousness. Ji-yeon was now speaking again, and the tremor in her tone could very well be either anger or fear. Anger at who, you could guess, but fear? For herself or you? Processing the thought caused a rancorous flood of nausea and your forehead dropped against the ground with a pathetic thud.

"I didn't steal anything, and if anyone should be harmed for my apparent wrongdoing, it should be me.  _Don't touch my friend_." Concern thrummed through your chest and fear quickly set in when the click of the safety sounded, the barrel of a cool pistol aligned with the back of your skull. "Taking it out on you would be useless, therefore, your punishment will be witnessing the death of," Doctor Chae paused, swiping his hand leisurely toward your body. " _Them_." A scream of desperation ripped through the air as Ji-yeon was held in place, the man above you leaned toward your face that was obscured from his view. She struggled, you saw her, but the breath ghosting the shell of your ear unnerved you immensely before he spoke quietly, "Ji-yeon was my friend," Your brow furrowed in confusion at where he was leading this. "I could be killed for this, but I can't watch anyone else be stripped from her life. I'm choosing to be merciful, play along for all of our sakes."

The barrel of the gun edged away from your head, subtle in a way that it still appeared to be nestled snugly against you when you could feel the material poised near your ear. " _Kill them_." Ji-yeon shrieked after the order was given, and she grew still as the trigger was pulled and a shot rang out, echoing off the buildings as though a chorus of despair. The bullet grazed your ear, tearing sensitive skin away, burning your cheek and singing part of your hair with the heat of the blast before it embedded itself halfway into the ground. Your ear began to ring before you lost hearing completely on one side, not surprised to feel liquid oozing down the earlobe. You flinched at first, hoping the jolt of your body would go unnoticed before loosening the tension from your muscles and slumping forward with a bit of trouble, eyeing the bullet warily from your position with barely opened eyes. Pain still bubbled from the now bleeding cut at your temple from where you were struck, but you forced yourself to keep from shifting at how uncomfortable the sensation was.

No one moved for a narrow heartbeat, your lungs clawing for air as you held your breath, but the scoff Doctor Chae released caused alarm to flare inside your chest. He  _knew_ , and the man who spared you would surely suffer for this. Hoping for his death to be quick and easy, as you could guess his retribution would be just as traumatizing as Ji-yeon's, you remained motionless, terrified at the thought that you would be shot to just confirm your death.

"This is  _all_  my fault." Your friend sobbed as she was dropped. The man managed to shove himself off of you as Ji-yeon wobbled briskly to your side, knees scraping the pavement as she knelt with her head hung. Scattered, yet rhythmically paced footfalls erupted around you, slowly decreasing in volume as Doctor Chae and his men disappeared around the corner. Her hands quivered as her fingers skimmed along the curve of your clothed back, a loud sniffle meeting your ears as she retracted any contact with your body.

"I was expecting something but that was  _not_  it." The strangled gasp after you spoke made you wince. "You-" "Aren't dead? I'm shocked too." A groan escaped your throat as Ji-yeon tugged you from the ground impatiently, fingertips brushing the open slash at your temple, to which you squealed as another stab of pain filtered through your system. Stars dappled your vision at the sensation paired with the jarring noise that hurt your vocal chords.

 _Silver_. They were silver.

They faded just as rapidly as they had appeared, leaving you dazed. "You took a beating for me," Ji-yeon had turned from aggressive to vulnerable within the span of a few moments, her deep voice soft. "Involuntarily, I had no idea they would pull that. But yes, I did." She shoved your shoulder lightly at your teasing, stopping far too fast to be normal at the sight of your flinch.

"I knew he was cruel, but that was  _uncharacteristically_  cruel." A friendly voice smoothed over your ears. You turned to face the speaker and were met with seven different males staring at you, both in shock and curiosity. One of them, who you assumed was the one who previously addressed you, was crouched a few feet away from you, watching you with deep brown eyes that smiled warmly. "Normally, we're the only ones who can make him so upset," The others grinned slyly, all except for the one farthest from you. He was tall and built with a lean figure with dark hair that fell over his equally dark eyes. He didn't look at you. "My name's Kihyun," He let out an awkward little laugh near the end of his words, darting his gaze anywhere that wasn't your face. "I'm sorry-" "Don't be, nice to meet you. But, it would seem as though I'm bleeding and almost got shot a few minutes ago so just give me a minute to just, gather myself?" You physically cringed at your repetition of the words 'just' and 'minute', also pulling a slightly sour face at how you seemed to have asked a question rather than stated a fact.

Kihyun only smiled, less awkward than he had been previously. The others followed his example, stationing themselves before you on the ground. Each housed charismatic brown eyes, varying colors of hair, and stupidly excited gestures. Some wore grins, others were simply watching with gleaming gazes. Ji-yeon had resorted to sitting behind you, glaring over your shoulder at the group as they went down the line, saying their names.

 _Changkyun_ , who had an emotionless visage and a chilled stare, but the smile he offered was contagious.  _Shownu_ , who appeared to be the leader, with broad shoulders and a welcoming warmth coating his features.  _Minhyuk_ , who had hair that was almost white to your perspective, grinning at you as he couldn't seem to contain his enthusiasm, though he was a bit awkward.  _Kihyun_  at the center, who had already been introduced;  _Jooheon_ , who looked completely bored at first glance, was analyzing you with mischievous eyes that were slightly hidden behind the brim of the cap pulled low on his head.  _Wonho_ , a blonde with muscular arms, who wore a smirk that was both devious and adorable at the same time. And lastly,  _Hyungwon_ , the one that had refused to merely look at you, but you found his gaze intense and far too attractive for you to handle when he finally brought himself to meet your eyes.

By the time they had finished and were staring at you from their places, you had fully rotated to face them, legs crossed beneath you as you wiped at the gash near your hairline to rid yourself of some of the blood, jerking sharply at the pain. "You said that you guys were the only ones who succeeded in making him  _that_  angry before. So, are you guys like,  _adrenaline junkies_?"

"Something like that." Wonho spoke this time, his smirk only growing as he shared a knowing look with a few of the other guys. You pretended not to notice.

"Interesting."

 _Yellow_. It was yellow.


	2. Heartbeat

Three years beforehand had been extremely stressful and awkwardly tense between you, Ji-yeon, and the guys. However, as the days turned to months and the months gave way to years, a spark flared to life at the center of your little circle. You began to accept the fact that you had crawled into their world instead of residing in your own, which had long turned cold since the passing of your brother. In return, their pages opened for you, giving you access to the stories inked between the crease of their palms and ribboned throughout their bones. Though the whole truth had been denied from you, as you had also denied them of things in your past, you found comfort in the smiles now shared in your presence, found warmth in how they could meet your eyes without hesitating; you found a family buried within their protective nature. They meant safety, they meant home.

Seeing Ji-yeon was now rare, as she had taken up a job in the central hub selling books and information if one could pay the price. On off days, she'd stop by and entertain the group with stories of how she nearly took a few beatings by flirting with some of the soldiers as they passed, and though you had laughed with her, there was surely concern edged into the normally joyous sound. What if she  _ had _ been harmed? You'd known her for too long to not realize how aggressive she could become, and you were afraid for her. Yet without fail, as it seemed that every member of the group had developed a radar to pick up on your usually concealed emotions, after each story with Ji-yeon, you found hands on you. Not in a wrong way, more like, well,  _ family _ . Patterns draw into your knees, words scribbled along your spine, fingerprints smoothed into your shoulders as if they were dozens of raindrops. Hands calloused, others soft; some large and others slim, they latched on, each and every one of them, and refused to part until ease had washed through your system. While you hated how easily they could detect your shifting mood, the gratitude outweighed the distaste. It was habit for you to lock away your feelings and you found yourself wanting someone to take notice just as much as you didn't.

You quickly found that everyone else was  _ exactly _ like that.

However, there were times when you force your mood down to where it's nearly inconceivable to detect change, all because you can't bring yourself to interrupt someone's happiness with your own unnoticeable turmoil. Times when you couldn't bring yourself to wipe the smile from Hyungwon's face, times when you couldn't bring yourself to stop Shownu from banging sticks against large metal containers, times when you couldn't bring yourself to refuse an adventure with Minhyuk and Changkyun.

“ _ Earth to (Name) _ ,” Kihyun's friendly voice tittered against your ear, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. You swallowed your thoughts, fingers hooking around his forearm to keep from toppling sideways off a barrel and into Wonho's lap. The latter grinned up at you from where he sat, teasing snickers leaving his lips as you poked your tongue out defiantly.

“I thought I told you to quit,” You smacked your palm lightly against Kihyun's chest for emphasis. “Sneaking,” another smack. “Up on me.” Three more smacks accompanied the last few words. Laughter began to bounce along the inner walls of the bridge as the other guys taunted Kihyun's feigned hurt at your actions, though he was also shaking with uncontrollable, breathy chuckles. Grumbling incoherent sentences, you slid off of your perch to stand, opting to keep moving in order to stifle your growing boredom. “I thought we were holding some kind of meeting.” You whined slightly, a playful lilt to your voice as you surveyed your friends with an eyebrow raised in amusement. “It's not a meeting,” Minhyuk drew your attention to his seated form staring up at you with a fond gaze you couldn't quite decipher. “More like a hangout-” “Per usual-” “ _ And anyways _ ,” He cut off your own interruption to his explanation with a smirk and a cheeky quirk of his brows. “Shownu, Jooheon,  _ and _ Hyungwon haven't come back from the central hub yet. We can't start without them, you impatient brat.”

More laughter found purchase along the walls. Pretending to be insulted by the name that he would so  _ affectionately _ call you, you crossed your arms over your chest and swiveled to where you faced the large square opening underneath the bridge, marching out with a huff as though a child throwing a temper tantrum. You waited. There were whispers behind you, trying to decide whether you were truly upset or were messing with them. Apparently, there was a unanimous vote for the former and soon, footsteps scattered pebbles like dust along the pavement as someone followed you out. Still, you remained silent, awaiting their words with a sly smirk tilting your lips while your eyes stared coldly ahead. The action you took and the scene you were causing was utterly immature, but what's life without a little troublesome fun?

“Hey,” the drastic shift in tone startled you. It was Minhyuk, you could pick him out of a crowd blindfolded just by the scent carried on his jacket (soil and sweat and pollen, not the most appealing but always as familiar as it is comforting), but the serious edge spiking his tongue replaced the usual light-heartedness, which shocked you. He was  _ never _ this pensive. Alarmed at his lack of cheer, you rotated to analyze his face; instead of meeting a gaze charged with life, you found guilt buried beneath the darkness of his irises. Had he  _ really _ believed your grade school joke to be an actual thing that had offended you? You frowned, displeased at how somber he appeared. He watched your lips, cold and bitten with death despite the warm weather (it was from lack of health and hygiene, you had told him over and over), curve down, tracing their chapped shape before realizing what he was doing and removed his stare from your mouth.

The backs of his index and middle fingers tenderly padded against the skin where your ear met your jaw, and you leaned into his ginger touch with a subdued smile. Heat bloomed from him, it warmed with even the most restricted contact, and you found yourself craving it more often than not. “I'm sorry-” “Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong.” You cut him off for the nth time today with a soft caress of your fingertips flush against his lips. You grinned triumphantly at the foggy pink rounding the apples of his cheeks. “I'm  _ not _ upset - I  _ never _ was -  _ especially _ not at you, Minhyuk. You've called me that  _ dozens _ of times, I've accepted that as my title by now.”

The seam of his lips squirmed beneath your touch as though he was about to open his mouth to speak, but once more, you beat him to it. “I was messing with you, genius. You need to stop taking every little thing I do so seriously.” Had you taken the joke too far? You were aware of how sensitive Minhyuk could become, especially regarding you and the guys, but never had you imagined something this minor setting him off into a slump. It was no secret that Minhyuk had become the most protective over you since you entered the group, but his protectiveness often made him think he had done wrong when he really was only being teased. Feeling a bit remorseful at the defeated slope of his shoulders, you took this nose between your thumb and forefinger, moving his head back and forth with a teasing film glazing your eyes, lips pursed as a grin broke out on his face. “There's the Minhyuk I know and love,” Stepping back to nudge his shoulder lightly, you both spun around quickly (almost falling into one another in the process) when someone else joined the conversation, startling you just as bad as Kihyun had earlier.

“Are you two done flirting now?” It was Wonho. He was leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, watching you with that damned smirk that both annoyed you and made you swoon internally. You noted how his shoulders were more rigid than usual, brows drawn ever slightly; emotions hidden behind how one of his hands had found a stern grip coiled tightly around the fabric of his shirt. You had seen that look, that posture before, you recognized it, but decided not to call him out and instead, found yourself willing to see how far you could push him.

“Jealous?” The word came out as a taunt, a chorus of low hums and air whooshing past parted lips erupted around you. “If I am?” He shot right back, gaze never straying from your face as though trying to decipher your challenge.

“You filthy liar!” You shrieked with laughter at the thought of him being jealous of you and Minhyuk, hearing the other guys roar with laughter just the same. You missed the hurt melting across his features before he began to chuckle as well, pretending it was merely a joke. Minhyuk noticed, and his expression tensed until your attention rested on him once more, eyes flickered up to paint the sky with your gaze as your lashes fluttered like wings against your cheeks. As he watched you, there was a nagging itch at the back of his mind, tormenting him slowly as it cleared to a solid thought: he was completely and utterly afraid that something would rip you away from the group; away from  _ him _ . Be it the military, or death, he had trouble tearing his thoughts from how cruel reality would become if you, something so valuable, were to disappear. “Do you think it'll rain any time soon?” The question was paired with a soft squeeze to his bicep, which caused him to freeze at the feel of your hand. You stayed staring up at the canvas of dulled blue and grey.

“It hasn't rained in months, I doubt it.” Yet again, a new voice.

“Way to kill my mood, Shownu.” Shownu had come around the corner, followed closely by a smug Jooheon and a jittery Hyungwon.  _ Odd _ , you tilted your head in confusion,  _ he looks pale _ . Blinking owlishly, you studied his lanky figure as the trio approached, concerned at how he would glance behind him every few steps, how he clung a bit too intently to Jooheon's side.

“Hey, you're the one who asked.” Shownu ruffled your hair affectionately as he passed, offering you a quick grin before joining the rest of the guys. You and Jooheon exchanged a friendly fist bump and quiet laughter, and you were up on Hyungwon's back with little protest from him as he carried you along with him.

“What took you so long?” You were the first to ask as you were let down, and the uneasy look that passed across more than a few faces unnerved you. Shownu was the only one who responded. “You go sit outside, this doesn't concern you.” Opening your mouth to protest, you growled under your breath when Minhyuk lightly ushered you out with an apologetic smile lingering against his lips. This happened often, and you were frankly exhausted of being the one left out of secret business. Did you not deserve to know? Plopping down onto the pavement, you tried your best to pick up on the conversation, and though it was quiet, you managed.

“What is it?” Kihyun spoke first.

“We ran into some soldiers earlier who were harassing a few merchants. We stepped in before any damage could be done.” Then Shownu.

“That could've been trouble, you could've gotten hurt!” Minhyuk.

“I'm not worried about that.” Shownu.

“He's worried about what their leader had to say. He said it softly, so none of us heard it but Shownu.” Jooheon. There was an uncomfortable silence where you could vividly imagine everyone rotating slightly to lock their stares on Shownu.

“He told me they were going to report us for interference and that getting arrested would be an option if something like this ever happened again.” Shownu clarified. A sigh of relief followed his words.

“That's what you were worried about?” Wonho.

“I'm more worried about what Hyungwon gave one of them. You know how his dad is.” Shownu.

_ His dad? _ Hyungwon never talked about his family so you had just assumed he didn't have one. Eavesdropping was wrong, you knew that, but your human curiosity won out as you leaned back a bit more while trying to remain subtle. What were they hiding from you, and why was it so bad for you to find out?

“I put one of the flowers in their vest. The gesture meant peace, I didn't realize my mistake until after they walked away.” Hyungwon. There was a stilled inhale as the information was processed. What was so important about a flower? What was its significance?

“We aren't mad at you for this, but try to be a bit more careful next time.” Changkyun.

“Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.” Shownu. There was anger in his tone, and as you looked up, recognizing the four men moving toward you, you had to force yourself to swallow the bile in your throat. Hyungwon,  _ your sweet Hyungwon _ , was kin to  _ that _ monster? As Doctor Chae and his men approached, Wonho and Shownu threw the sticks they were holding, and you stifled a laugh at how immaturely defiant the action was. No one missed the acidic glare aimed at you, one that caused several of your friends to stand in order to defend you, but you had already moved to sit beside Changkyun on an uneven block of wood as Wonho stood to his right.

“Do you have any idea what kind of uproar you have caused?” Doctor Chae was the first to speak, directing his malice toward Hyungwon who was sitting opposite of you with his head bowed. “I've told you time and time again that getting involved with my men could very well have me stripped of my status. You had no right to protect those filthy merchants, who cannot afford even food, what makes you think they were worth helping? It will do you some good to keep your mouth shut and stay out of the way.”

Shownu went rigid at the topic of money, and when he swept forward with a steely glower, the only thing that stopped him was the guns being aimed at, not him, but everyone else around him. He froze, before stepping back and waiting for the weapons to be lowered.

“They were being harassed.” Hyungwon's voice was meek, but swelling with emotion and volume as he looked away from the ground to meet his father's critical stare. You shared a look with Jooheon, who was balanced atop an old air conditioning unit, and he nodded with an unreadable expression. So if Hyungwon was telling the truth, that the merchants were being harassed and they merely stepped in to help, why was his father so angry? “What have I said about talking back to a superior, to  _ me _ ?”

“They were innocent!” Hyungwon had climbed to his feet by now, trembling with anger while his hands balled into fists at his side. He was desperate to cling onto his sanity, but his father's lack of understanding, lack of compassion was really getting to him. “Do not raise your voice, keep your tone level or we will end this conversation here. They were not your business, you must learn to keep your nose out of things concerning my men lest you stir trouble again.”

“But-” A slap rang out before anyone had time to process the fact that Doctor Chae had raised his hand, and you gasped at the sheer force of the blow. Hyungwon's head whipped to the side from the blunt impact, gaze blank as he tried to comprehend what had just taken place. You spared a glance at Minhyuk, who had been sitting with Hyungwon moments before, and his usually cheerful face was hardened and masked with fury. It took away your ability to breathe at how truly outraged he appeared.

“You have disrespected me enough for one day. A disgrace such as you should have already learned your place in the world by now.” With that, Doctor Chae was blowing out from beneath the bridge like the storm he was, his soldiers following behind diligently.

“ _ You selfish bastard! _ ” You called out angrily, clambering from your perch with full intent to smack some sense into him, hierarchy or not. Changkyun, who had been the only one close enough to reach you, had laid his hands against your shoulders, keeping you in place as though warning you what could happen if you continued. He waited, feeling you squirm under his grip, until Doctor Chae was far enough away to where you would need to run in order to catch up before letting you go and stepping away.

Finally free from Changkyun's grasp, you moved to follow Doctor Chae in a fit of anger before you saw the pain washing out Hyungwon's features. Not pain from the slap he was dealt, but pain at how his friends had seen him so weak and vulnerable, unable to defend himself. Changkyun attempted to latch onto you once again, thinking you were about to run out after the soldiers, but you skirted around his hand and made your way to crouch in front of your defeated friend, lifting his head with soft fingers beneath his chin. The flinch that shook through his figure when you touched him broke you.

“I promise he won't hurt you anymore.” You were desperate to keep the vexation in your voice to a minimum as you spoke. “ _ You _ promise?” He was bewildered, gazing at you as though you had grown a second head. “Shouldn't it be the other way around?”

“Not when it comes to people I care about, Hyungwon. I  _ promise _ he won't hurt you again, I'll make sure of it.” By now, your anger had reached its peak. Had no one tried to protect him before? He studied you curiously, almost seeming hesitant yet relieved at your thoughtfulness, before your words registered in his mind. His brown eyes, ones that you loved so dearly, widened in panic as he tried to reach out for you, but he was a beat behind. You were on your feet before anyone could snag your wrist and pull you back.

Someone gave chase as you marched toward Doctor Chae and his men, but you sped up in hopes to outrun them and you nearly collided with a soldier who had turned at the sound of your feet against the pavement. Your heartbeat pounded with adrenaline as it slowly climbed in volume until it blocked out your hearing from its own roar. Your ears rang with the intensity, faintly realizing that someone was shouting obscenities into the air and until a hand clamped over your mouth, you were unaware that it had been you. Doctor Chae had silenced you, and in a fit of anger, you swatted away his hand in order to speak.

“I don't know what has happened to you, I don't know why you do these things to people, but I do know that hurt people hurt people. So I have no idea what you've gone through, who has inflicted pain on you, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but just know that taking it out on those around you isn't helping how you feel on the inside. He's your son, dammit! He deserves to be treated like such. I hope you can learn to heal others instead of hurt them, and in the process, heal yourself.”

Your stomach dropped when he turned away from you, completely ignoring the words that had previously spilled from your tongue. Lurching forward, you pursued. “What are you so afraid of!?” You were screaming now. Doctor Chae had spun around, forearm to your chest in such a rapidly fluid motion, your back met the ground in mere seconds before he responded. “I'm afraid of him becoming like you. Weak, pathetic, lost; alone.” Stung, you sat up with the help of your arms. You felt weak in this moment, extremely so, but no way were you allowing him to get away with something so heinous.

“Well, at least I'm not like you,” Attention was once more drawn to your awkwardly positioned body on the ground, chin raised high with rebellion. “At least  _ I'm _ not hiding behind a wall of guards, hurting people for sport because I have the power to. Let me tell you something, Doctor Chae, because it seems you haven't quite grasped the concept yet: there are deeper and darker things than you in this wretched world. I know, I've shaken hands with  _ dozens _ of them. And they put you to shame. The real question is, Doctor, why are you afraid of that boy becoming like me, when you  _ should _ be afraid of him becoming like you. Cold and cruel and malicious and cowardly, quivering behind your social status in the hierarchy all because that's the only way people will obey. You don't deserve to be a doctor, to have people's lives placed in your hands, and you certainly don't deserve to be a father. If Hyungwon is a disgrace, god, am I terrified to know what you were, and probably still are. Karma will come for you, and don't be surprised when everything you've worked for is stripped away from you. Because if karma's going to get in trouble for hitting someone, she might as well hit them hard. Have a good day, Doctor.”

Ending your monologue with a sneer, you pushed yourself off of the ground, bowing low in mock respect before you turned around, ready to march back to your friends defiantly, until your arms were secured to your lower back. The shock registered moments after you had begun to be dragged backwards, voicing how you wanted them to let you go in a jerking frenzy. Your cries to be released were quieted from shock by the horrified anger boiling in heated flames from your group of friends; Ji-yeon, who had come around the corner, was frozen, contents spilling from her discarded bag before her surprise was charred with rage. She started to approach you and where you were being held hostage, but Hyungwon had shot forward, lean arms wrapped around her stomach to haul her back. The fear and bitter sadness in his eyes would forever be engraved into your mind.

“You should be dead, you insolent rat.” Heat burned through your chest at the name, lighting the candle of unhinged hatred you had kept docile for so many years. The soldiers holding you had maneuvered in such a way to allow Doctor Chae to stare daggers into your face, that was no doubt flushed in anger. You returned his glare, which earned a thwack across the mouth from the unforgiving barrel of an M16. Your lip split and you had bitten down so harshly on your tongue to keep from crying out, you drew blood. Still you persisted through the pain, steeling your nerves just enough to spit a fair amount of saliva and blood into his face. “I hate you,” was whispered from your lips in a hiss as Doctor Chae wiped the liquid from his skin.

“I have just the job for such a moronic pest. Bring them along.”

You spared a terrified glance behind you as you were shoved forward, a weapon poised between your shoulder blades. Shownu, Changkyun, and Kihyun were acting as a barrier between you and the remaining group members, watching you go with smoldering glares aimed towards the soldiers that had harmed you. They knew they couldn't risk coming after you, as more people could possibly be hurt. Shownu caught your gaze, though his eyes seemed lifeless, and he nodded, almost like he was trying to assure that they would bring you back somehow. You didn't look at him any longer. Hyungwon was up against the wall, head between his knees that were drawn close to his chest; his shoulders shook as if he were crying.

You were pushed, the weapon against your body forceful, and with a final look of seething hatred at the trio of men taking you, you moved forward, away from your family to face whatever was in store.

Your heartbeat was drowning you with each step away from home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, two chapters in and there's already a good old plot twist and drama. Welcome to my writing style, this is how I do things.


	3. Bad Liar

The next hour beneath the bridge was spent with Ji-yeon berating each of the guys for their stupidity, seething with rage at how she had been stopped from saving you from those vile men. “How dare you let (Name) be taken away by those, _those-_ ” “Ji-yeon!” Her boiling anger was subdued momentarily by a shocking outburst from Changkyun, who watched her with eyes narrowed in indignation. “Well get them back, there are other things we need to worry about right now.” Ji-yeon grew heated again at his words. About to lash out to defend you and gnaw his ear off with her constant fret over you, she paused at the remorse lingering in his gaze, took in the failure lurking behind his steely expression. She stood down, but not without giving him a glare that seemed to spit acid. Hyungwon was still settled in a fetal position against the wall. Gloom riddled his features (still swollen from the blow he was dealt), eyes lachrymose and rimmed with forlorn shades of pink. “This is my fault,” His words were whispered, hoarse and weighed with sadness and self-loathing. Minhyuk moved to console him, but attention was drawn to Ji-yeon as she stood abruptly, eyes cold and hands clenched so tight her knuckles went pale.

“You're right, it is.” With that, she was storming away from the group of boys out into the unforgiving slums of the city. She hadn't even gotten to tell you what she had seen your group of friends doing, something that made her so snappy and angry with them to the point where she got a job in order to not be around them constantly, something that had startled her so viciously that she was fearful of how you would react to the news. How would she ever get to inform you of this now, you could be _dead_ for all she knew. The very thought of your lifeless eyes staring up at her, the once warming pulse of your heart gone from beneath her fingertips brought salty liquid streaming into her eyes, blurring her vision with a sympathetic savageness she couldn't understand. She did not raise her hand to wipe the tears from her eyes (as they were not yet streaming down her face), for that would alert everyone, but she was desperate to stop the tears from leaking out onto her flushed cheeks. She would not cry, not now, not ever. She had to remain strong, she had to get you back.

Jooheon almost went after her in order to knock some sense into her already damaged head. Almost. Shownu had blocked him from giving chase to the poor girl, who was trying to cope with losing someone she saw as family. He could relate, though he refused to reveal that information. Only Minhyuk and Jooheon knew of his situation, and he intended to keep it that way. “Leave her, let her recover from this and collect herself before you start getting upset. She's known (Name) longer, this is probably affecting her worse than it is us. (Name) is all she has left, give her time.” Grudgingly, Jooheon agreed and returned to where he once stood. Minhyuk had seated himself beside Hyungwon, not fully comforting him, but hoping his presence, the heat he gave off, the _materialistic_ aspect of him would be enough to sate his friend for the time being. “So what do we do?” Kihyun addressed the despaired group, pain hissing through his veins at the lost and apathetic glaze over each set of exhausted eyes.

All eyes turned to Shownu for an answer as his lips parted for him to speak.

* * *

“Keep moving.”

The command was neither commanding nor harsh, rather bored as you trudged along quietly. Your anger and adrenaline abandoned you when you most needed the dulling of the senses the two offered in combination, letting the heat from your wounds aggravate your nerves and the chill of the night air freeze your bones as you moved. It had been late afternoon when you were forcefully ripped away from your pack of friends, and darkness had fallen too quickly for your liking as you were still following behind Doctor Chae. You were out of the slums, for sure, one look at the rich housing you passed would vouch for that. Confusion overrode the thoughts whirring through your mind because why on earth would he bring you here, to the place where the higher-ups dwelled? Your conscience took a sharp turn, urging you to think about how you were to be doing a job fit for a moronic pest, as Doctor Chae had so _eloquently_ put, and immediately you recoiled at the prospect of becoming a _maid_ for such a horrible man who had harmed far too many people right before your eyes.

Disgusted at the mere possibility of such a thing happening, you barely realized the succession had come to a halt and almost ended up colliding with Doctor Chae. You glowered at his back, peeking over his head at the home he had stopped before. It was fairly lovely, save for the crackling paint and the aged wood, but an awful nagging at the back of your mind cautioned you to be wary. To your surprise, you were not dragged up to the entrance of the home, but rather, around the side of it, revealing a minimally guarded greenhouse just beyond sight of anyone who happened to pass by. If you found the greenhouse, chances are you had to have been looking for it. It was concealed in such a way that no human eye could recognize it unless their curiosity took them farther away from the street. You noticed how the glass as blacked out from the inside by what appeared to be large bags, and though it unnerved you, you were slightly anxious to see what was growing inside.

“This is where you will work, out of public eye and out of my way.” Doctor Chae sneered, and you fought the urge to sneer right back at him as you were led away from him and toward the glassy building. You maintained eye contact with him though, hoping to burn the image of your cold glare into his brain before you were shoved through the wide-mouthed entrance of the greenhouse and left alone, the translucent door sliding shut just behind you.

The first thing you noticed were the flowers. Rows upon rows of large, bush-like greenery topped with tall bundles of vibrantly blue flowers that were so deep and rich with color, they almost didn't appear real. The next thing that caught your attention were the lights suspended from the ceiling and the fact that the walls were actually covered with what looked like trash bags. The lights were long rods of unnaturally hued blues, and though they were appealing to look at, the light they gave off was extremely dim, shrouding the greenhouse in mysterious and enchanting aura.

“You must've done something awful for him to have brought you here for work.” You jumped, alarmed at the sound of a new voice from somewhere within the shadows, and when a girl crept forward with long waves of lightened brown hair and friendly brown eyes, you still found it difficult to relax. She looked harmless enough, dressed in the faded azure blue uniform of a farm worker and caked in a thin layer of dirt (you recognized the deep set blue of the flowers tucked behind her ears and woven into her hair), but you still eyed her uneasily.

“Why do you think that?” She grinned at your question, and you realized how young she seemed. But there was a malice lurking just behind that gentle appearance, you could plainly see how her gaze never blinked and instead inspected you, dissecting and pulling apart your very being as though your soul was tangible in her hands; taunting you with her innocent visage. Her shoulders were rigid, and it was obvious how hostile she seemed, but you turned your head and decided not to notice.

“Most of the time, when he brings someone, he punishes them immediately for what they did. But you've been put to work, which means you did something that offended him far worse than anyone else, and he's still deciding what kind of brutal treatment to do that will break you.” You wanted her to repeat what she had said, in a state of utter disbelief at her words, but you held your tongue as the way she had spoken the last few words sent a chill slithering up your spine. “Did you do something like that? Is that why you're here?” You asked, carefully selecting your phrasing as she continued to analyze you.

Her smile faltered ever slightly, and for a moment, she looked human when her gaze broke away from you to watch her battered, sloppily laced boots that shuffled nervously. She looked vulnerable, and even afraid if you would say. “Oh, no! I'm a paid worker here in the city. My services are sold to the one who pays the most. Apparently, ones who can tend flowers are popular.” She winked, returning to her once jovial ways. “My last assistant, however, was like you. I had nightmares for months after the death he was issued. His screams were so loud and terrible!” This time, she was much more quick to cover her moment of weakness when she stumbled a bit at acting, but that didn't mean you failed to catch it.

“I'm Chun-hwa!” She cleared her throat with a smile, though this one was lacking in brightness like the one she housed when first speaking. “(Name),” You said, hoping she would just tell you what to do instead of trying to keep the conversation. At once, her entire posture changed from rigid and hostile to fascinated as she bounded over to you, almost resembling an excited puppy.

“(Name)? _The_ _(Name)_!? I've heard so much about you from Hyungwon and Ji-yeon.” She blushed when Ji-yeons name left her lips, and you liked this version of her much better than who she had been moments prior. But wait, Hyungwon talked to her about you? Startled, you barely managed to say, “You know Ji-yeon?” before she was tugging you along with her to the back of the greenhouse, absolutely buzzing with enthusiasm. “Oh certainly! Sometimes the soldiers bring her here for punishment and I usually talk to buy her a way out! I've also seen her around the central hub! She's flirted more than once, and it probably doesn't mean much to her because she flirts with a lot of people but a girl can dream it means a bit more, right? Oh, what am I saying? _Me_ , catch someone like _her_? Silly, isn't it? Doctor Chae would surely kill me if he ever found out. Being attracted to someone who has a lower status than me, _and_ the same gender at that! The scandal would bring the cruelest of deaths to be dealt to me! I speak such nonsense holding onto these fantasies!”

Talk about a major plot twist. Chun-hwa had switched from the standard military hostility to the bubbly personality of a lovesick school girl, now rambling about how much she liked your close friend. However, just because humanity had been stripped out of humans, doesn't mean the compassion had, and when you saw the defeated gloom darkening her eyes to show how close she was to giving up, the need to comfort her in some way rose above all other things in your mind.

“I don't think it's silly.” Her head popped up at your words, light brown hair flying in various directions as she stared at you in shock. “You don't?” Chun-hwa's voice was quiet and feeble, full of dozens of emotions that you had nearly forgotten existed.

“Of course not! Love doesn't judge who you chose to fall for, regardless of circumstances, so why should I? If I get out of here, I'll put in a good word for you the next time I talk to her.”

“You will!?” Her hopeful tone was all you needed to hear as a grin broke across your lips. “Definitely.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!” The next thing you knew she had launched herself at you, knocking you backwards with her body weight as she wrapped her limbs around you in a hug, repeating the phrase thank you over and over until her voice was cracking with tears. You didn't think she would cry over something like this, but who were you to judge?

* * *

 It was well into the night by the time Chun-hwa had finished explaining what this particular job entailed, handing over a standard uniform and boots to symbolize what you were now. It was fairly simple, water each row every morning, cut away weeds and dead blooms and change out the soil every two weeks. The reason for the bags covering the walls was because the flowers, _delphinium_ , don't fare well in heat and grown better with a moist, cool atmosphere, which made sense once you thought about it. The flowers, though looked powerful and poisonous, were extremely delicate and disturbing them could be disastrous. Chun-hwa had become very friendly in the hours you had already spent together, and it was easy to see why the death of her previous partner had affected her so much: she got attached far too quickly and without much resistance.

Jokes were passed as she pruned through the flowers, picking out only the largest and brightest of them and when you questioned what she was doing it for, you didn't receive an answer. Her silence was not unwelcome ( _she talked a lot_ , you noticed), just slightly suspicious.

“Oh, Hyungwon! You're just in time! I finished selecting the largest blooms of the batch right when you walked in!” You froze at Chun-hwa's chipper voice, and when you moved around one of the several rows of flowers, you locked eyes with him almost immediately. “(Name).” He choked. He looked relieved and slightly desperate, hand reaching away from his side before it retreated, and he looked away. You didn't understand why the simple gesture of him recoiling stung so much, but it did. Chun-hwa gazed between the two of you as she handed over the bundle of flowers to him before she melted into the shadows, giving you time to speak to him. He still had the mark of a hand bruised onto his cheek and your anger swelled at the sight.

“Hyungwon-” You reached for him, but he had turned on his heel and was leaving before you could finish your sentence. You hesitated before throwing caution to the wind and chasing after him, being quick to follow closely enough to where you could lodge your foot into the back door to keep him from shutting you out. You managed to shove yourself into the house, disregarding the panic that settled on Hyungwon's face as you carefully latched the door behind you so as to not alert his sleeping father. “Spill.”

He moved away, and you followed diligently for answers. You had never seen his home before, but you tried not to flinch at the dozens of crumpled papers splayed across the floor, or the glass that was shattered near one of the walls. “I was worried about you. All of the guys were - well, still are actually.” The crack of his voice told you that he was hiding the rest of what he was feeling, what he was thinking, and despite how you could already make out the obvious shake of his body in concealed anger, you decided to push in order to figure out what was truly bothering him.

“What's on your mind? You can't fool me, I've known you too long.”

“Nothing, I'm fine.” He was growing far more annoyed the longer you questioned him, and yet you continued. “You're a _really_ bad liar, Hyungwon.”

“No one loves me, alright?” He burst out, anger quickly replaced with guilt when he saw you step away in shock. “I do.” He paused in disbelief to take in your response, and you could see the emotion soaking his eyes as he turned from you. “My own father can't stand me, so why should I have any reason to think anyone else can?”

“I can.” He did not face you this time, but the moment you stepped forward to place a tentative hand on his shoulder, he ripped away from you, stumbling at the force he had used. “Get out,” Hyungwon's voice had never been so gravelly and so distantly cold before, and for a moment, you were genuinely fearful that he was going to lash out at you if you didn't act soon.

“Please, don't shut me out when I know there's something wrong, something on your mind that's hurting you. I'm worried, so worried right now, just let me help you.” You were begging by the time you had finished, trying to move toward him, but the closer you got, the more he began to tremble where he stood.

“I said, get out.” He pronounced each word slowly and he never met your soft gaze, as he had trained his eyes on the floor because he knew one look at your face would break him, and he would lose all assertiveness he had. One look at you would break him, because he would be able to see how much he's hurting you, and he would hate it.

“Why!? Tell me why!” You were trying not to raise your tone for fear of waking his father, but your control was slipping through your fingers faster than you would like. “This is my home.” He said firmly, though he was cautious with how he spoke, as though trying not to spook a wild animal.

“Well you're _my_ home, and I can't abandon that again, not again!” You brought your hand to your lips, biting down on your knuckles to keep from going farther into hysterics, eyes squeezing shut as memories whipped through your mind of your brother, your home, the blood leaking from the rafters all those years ago.

“You're my home,” you repeated, trying to calm yourself down and gauge his reaction. He was silent, watching you with wide eyes in the darkness. So, you continued.

“I've never loved myself, I've never been able to forgive myself for things I've done and for things I let happen. It's never been that I wanted to die, more like I got tired of being alive, tired of who I was. I let my own brother lose his life right in front of me, I was too scared to help him and the guilt eats me every single day. I hate myself for this, for every sin I've committed against myself and others. But you, god, I loved you so much, still do, that I forgot about the things I've done and been through and felt. I forgot how lonely I was, I forgot how angry I was, I forgot about my lies, I forgot how hurt I was, I forgot the pain. I forgot how hating myself felt, I just forgot about everything because you feel like home to me, and I found a comfort in you that I had completely forgotten its existence before we met.” You paused, noticing he had turned solemn and his eyes had glazed over with what you could plainly determine was sadness. He didn't know about your past, none of the guys did.

“I guess all of that brings us to you, Hyungwon. I don't know what you've known or felt, what steals your sleep, what you wonder at three in the morning when no one is awake to disturb you, what you've found and lost and dreamed, but as humans, if we lose hope we lose humanity. Maybe there's time for this to change, for beauty to be born from ashes. Sure, there's a lot at stake here, but you need to know that this burden you carry doesn't just affect you. We're all connected to one another, this circle never ends, what pains you will pain me, will pain the guys, and we will work through it together. There is beauty in your mind, no matter how dark it may seem, and I hope it doesn't haunt you. But if it does, promise me that you will tell me. Because I'm here. I'm here to walk with you through the shadows to remind you that good things keep coming and that there are futures for us that are worth fighting for.”

“I guess I'm saying that I feel it. That I notice. There is still so much to feel and see and say and hope for in your story. All life is valuable, no matter how small or insignificant, and _you_ are worth fighting for.”

“What are you choosing?” He was quiet, seemingly afraid of what you were about to say.

“I'm _choosing_ to stay, because no one deserves to be alone. You're _my_ home. And I can't give something that important up ever again. I'll see you tomorrow, Hyungwon, get some sleep.”

* * *

 Two days since the incident with Doctor Chae, two days since you had become a worker, two days since you had any news from your friends, save for Hyungwon. Endless cycle, you tended the flowers for whatever odd reason they were being grown, Doctor Chae would send someone out to check your progress and how you handled the job, and you would repeat. Just as you had thought, you and Chun-hwa were given the most minimal of food rations, and your concern now stretched out for your new friend as she had a nasty habit of rejecting her own food in order to offer it to you. You accepted what you had to do, but never did you stop to dwell on what awaited you. You hadn't seen Hyungwon since the night he had come to retrieve the flowers, he hadn't even left the house once, and you grew anxious each passing hour.

Morning came, bleeding into your vision harshly and you sneezed at the scent of soil in your nose. You squirmed up from the floor, groggy and disoriented before reality seized your thoughts and you stilled, feelings and sights and noises crashing into you full force. You had slept in the greenhouse which had been your residence for two whole days with Chun-hwa after lashing out at Doctor Chae for hurting Hyungwon. Hyungwon had visited the greenhouse, taken some of the odd blue flowers and you had lectured him about how he shouldn't be afraid to feel human. Panic ripped through your being as a wet, foul smelling substance came crumbling down over your head.

Your sight blurred in and out, coughing as particles of the sludge invaded your lungs before you recognized the peppy, dirt-caked figure smudging fresh soil into the fabric of your clothing. “If they bring out the dogs, this will throw them off your trail.” Chun-hwa was speaking to you now, eyes focusing on the places her fingers worked soil against you: your shoulders, stomach, legs. _Dogs? They had dogs?_ You shuddered at the thought of a ferocious canine bearing down on you, curling your digits around Chun-hwa's petite wrist to halt her frenzied movements. “What are you talking about? Why would they release dogs?” She huffed impatiently, snatching her wrist away from you and pouting, yet her gaze was unsettled, darting to and fro as though wary of dangerous eavesdroppers. She had pushed you out of the greenhouse by now, nudging you away from the actual home and toward the side alley where you had entered. “You have to get out of here, go now while you still can. Doctor Chae discovered the bundle of delphinium flowers Hyungwon had taken a few nights ago and he's positively furious. We devised a plan while you slept,” She fidgeted nervously where she stood, almost afraid of what she was about to reveal to you. “He agreed to stall his father for your sake, be it dealing with punishment or worse.”

Your blood ran cold. This couldn't be happening, not again. You had escaped narrowly from Doctor Chae and his men twice before now, and your seemingly cowardice only infuriated him more. Hyungwon couldn't take the fall for you this time, you couldn't go back on your word to him. “I made a promise-” “Promises were made to be broken.” Chun-hwa cut you off hastily, piercing gaze roaring with greedy flames. “Don't make this harder for him, he wanted to protect you from what fate has in store the longer you remain here. He _chose_ to replace you, he will take your punishment.” You were in hysterics by the time she had finished, babbling incoherent nonsense as you struggled against her to try and make your way into the Chae household.

“Chun-hwa, please, I can handle it. Don't let him suffer for me, Doctor Chae can take it out on me as long as Hyungwon isn't hurt.” Your pleas did not affect the girl, only elicited sympathetic murmurs and tear soaked eyes as she shoved you away from the entrance into the main house, urging you to leave through the way you entered. “Get away from here, just get out! Fly, (Name), _fly_.” Her urgency scared you, and you were moving before you could even register what you were doing.

 _Fly_ . The word echoed through the barren halls of your mind as you ducked away from the building, hardly stopping before you skirted around the side and took off in a sprint, clothes heavy with quickly drying soil that refused to shake off despite the horrid pounding of your feet along the pavement. You were still wearing the shoes Chun-hwa gave you from tending the flowers, and it rapidly dawned on you that the soles weren't made for such use as they nearly caused you to slip and knock yourself out cold against the ground. Sweat started beading at your hairline, but wiping it with your dirted sleeve proved useless as you continued, breathing labored and limbs jerking sporadically. _Fly_. Blood pumped through your veins with each desperate pulse of your heart that quivered in your chest, lips, ones that usually grinned with mirth, curving to the will of your teeth as you bit them raw to taste blood clinging to your tongue.

A jarring noise of pain and haunting fear tore through the empty street before it died just as quickly as it had come, as though the sensation that caused such a sound was far too familiar. You never relented from your speed even as you recognized the tone and voice of the being who had created the noise. Hyungwon. It was a cry of agony, a cry for help, but the shout had been silenced as if he knew no one would come and rescue him. Your heels dug into the pavement, ignoring the sharp pinpricks of pain erupting through your feet from the worn soles barely protecting your skin. You almost turned back, had it not been for Chun-hwa's words ringing through your head, dulling your hearing as though your entire head had been submerged in water with the intensity. He wanted to protect you from what fate has in store the longer you remain here. Turning back now would only cause him worse pain, and you would surely be kept on lockdown to keep you from escaping again. Another sound shredded his vocal chords, but it swept across your ears with muffled tones. _Fly_.

“I'll come back for you,” You hissed. “For _both_ of you.”

 _I broke my promise to him_ , you thought as you turned and fled the scene.

He was being hurt again and it was _all_

_your_

_fault_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like everything the reader does is predictable? I have no idea but just... yeah? I'll try and get away from that. Anyway, new chapter, new character who may or may not be important in the future, I haven't decided, and I hoped you liked this!


	4. Under construction

Hallo! It's your crappy author back with some news. Truth be told, I kind of forgot about this story and almost didn't remember my login info because it's been so long since I've been on rip. A family problem has taken over my life and I'm just now recovering from it and I got an email like.. yesterday about a comment on this piece and I was like 'oh, this is still a thing'. So, don't worry those who have stuck around, I'm not giving up on this story yet! I am, however, putting it under construction. I was reading through it this morning to figure out what I remembered of the original plot and where I would go from where I stopped and discovered that I just don't like it anymore. I don't like how it reads: it's choppy, unnecessary additions to plot, poor character description and development, and I want to correct that ~~i was also really really new to monsta x when i started this and i don't do them enough justice in this but i've gotten to know their personalities a lot better so!!!~~. So for the time being, I'll be doing major edits on this before I pick up with new chapters again. Thank you for your patience, I know I'm not the most reliable author but it means a lot!


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